My morbid regard for not being eaten alive in my own backyard reached new heights on reading this news story. According to Google Maps, if the creature in question drove along main roads at or below the speed limit, it could be at my front door in “about 7 mins”, which gives it plenty of time. It could be in my backyard right now. just a moment …
Anyway, I have a number of issues with the article and the persons and organisations portrayed within.
“‘He let out a hiss at him and that’s when I knew the mountain lion was in my backyard,’ Elliott said.” : Huh. Must have been a Girl Guide I suppose. I expect she inspected the paw prints and measured the space between the claw marks left on her dog before deciding that she wasn’t dealing with a furry snake of some kind.
“The Division of Wildlife let the cat stay at the house overnight because it was too dark to tranquilize it.” : No, a friend stays at your house overnight because they’re too drunk to drive home. For a mountain lion you just use a tranquilizer gun and a new and exotic piece of technology called a “flashlight”. Really, it’s simple. And no cup of coffee and a shower in the morning either.
“When the D.O.W returned Sunday morning, the cat was already gone.” : I’ve never had that happen with drunk friends — they’re usually still snoring at 9 am. Apparantly mountain lions are different. And come to think of it, the D.o.W. went away and came back the next morning? What kind of service is that? Why didn’t the residents wrest the weaponry away from the D.o.W. ninja operatives and manage the matter themselves, I wonder?
“…it’s odd to find a mountain lion in a neighborhood like this” : Yes, “odd”, that’s exactly the word I used when I heard about this. Not “freakishly terrifying” or “insanely horrific”. “Odd“. Guess which spokesman lives about twenty miles away, and has his own tranquilizer gun?
“The D.O.W said they’ll be keeping an eye on the neighborhood“. During working hours only I expect. Apparantly the D.o.W. has a better Union than the lions.
Well, that’s helped clear up another mystery, though. Apparantly that guy pays closer attention to the news than me.
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